So after some back and forward conversation that reminds me consistently of a good thing God did in my life, I must post a follow up.
Funny when good things get mixed up with not so good things right? Like, you can be right on track and on task about one thing, but be completely off about something else at the same time. Again, we are beautifully flawed human beings.
If I was to write a list of pros and cons in an attempt to dissect to falling apart of a good thing that God had purposed, I would have 2 lists as long as each other. For every pro there is a con. Thus why those kinds of lists don't work. There are always going to be fors and againsts... You choose where you stand through considered response grounded in Godly wisdom. If I take offence to things I have no right to be offended at, whose fault is it? It is my own.
So - back to what I actually intend to write... God never changes. His plan for mankind never changes. His love never changes. We may think our world changes, but God knows what's happening and what will happen. So in a very philosophical way, the world does not change. Our perception of the world and our God does.
Yet, we too often play the blame game. We wander away from God's plan for us. We then follow this up with the "I am not worthy of his plan for my life anyway" thought pattern, and finally come up with our own plan B. all the while, God stands there holding in his hand the one and only plan he has purposed for us. Yes, we have free will - but we would be naive to think that God doesn't know the inner-workings of our brain enough (after all he hand designed us all) to know the choices we will make. Some would then argue, that if he knows the choices we will make, then this must be part of his plan for our lives so it is pre-destined and therefore we can do nothing to prevent it... But I would argue from what I know of God and have learned the hard way many times, that God forgives our mistakes, our wanderings, and let's us stumble to teach us lessons, but I don't believe he "plans"for us to make such bad choices at times!
He just waits with open arms for we, his children to come back to him after we've sinned/rebelled/lost our way. Of course, we learn some great stuff in our stuff ups, but as a father, God wants to protect us whenever he can!
God never changes and He's never changed... We have. And now, it is in our best interest to draw near to God because He will change our focus, back to where it always needs to be - to Him.
Monday, March 05, 2012
Saturday, March 03, 2012
Dear cyberspace.
I know that when I write, I feel like I gain clarity. And so, blogging becomes my best way to brainstorm in a sense because I don't feel so silly just writing to myself... The idea of writing to someone, even if it's no one at all is better than driving myself nuts. Just the way I see it.
When you find yourself up at 4:20am facing your first day of work after a week off due to illness, it's amazing the thoughts that spring to life. Especially when you find that the week has been spent gaining clairty on important life decisions, even if unintentional.
Yesterday I found myself for the first time at peace with a decision I have been battling for some time now. I have battle because the world's opinion is different to God's opinion on this particular point. For far too long I have judged myself by the world's standard on this, measuring my success and failure based on facts and figures, but I have realised that life is about so much more than facts and figures. Life is all about reading between the lines. It's a complex equation that cannot always be simply solved.
While I am at peace about decisions I have made through God's wisdom and grace, this does not mean I am comfortable in any way with the how and when of what needs to happen! My resolve is firm, but my conflict resolution skills could use some work! I am so thankful that Jesus is my mediator in life, because mediation does my head in!
My eyes are open, and for the first time in 7 months, I feel like I have a clear sense of direction. Now to navigate through following the compass and light that is Jesus.
I feel like what I've written is a track I could play many times in life. And I think it's a good track to play because life is not easy and challenges come. And as an imperfect human being, I don't have the answers. But if I have relationship with the creator of the universe, I can do all things!
Again - thanks for listening.
When you find yourself up at 4:20am facing your first day of work after a week off due to illness, it's amazing the thoughts that spring to life. Especially when you find that the week has been spent gaining clairty on important life decisions, even if unintentional.
Yesterday I found myself for the first time at peace with a decision I have been battling for some time now. I have battle because the world's opinion is different to God's opinion on this particular point. For far too long I have judged myself by the world's standard on this, measuring my success and failure based on facts and figures, but I have realised that life is about so much more than facts and figures. Life is all about reading between the lines. It's a complex equation that cannot always be simply solved.
While I am at peace about decisions I have made through God's wisdom and grace, this does not mean I am comfortable in any way with the how and when of what needs to happen! My resolve is firm, but my conflict resolution skills could use some work! I am so thankful that Jesus is my mediator in life, because mediation does my head in!
My eyes are open, and for the first time in 7 months, I feel like I have a clear sense of direction. Now to navigate through following the compass and light that is Jesus.
I feel like what I've written is a track I could play many times in life. And I think it's a good track to play because life is not easy and challenges come. And as an imperfect human being, I don't have the answers. But if I have relationship with the creator of the universe, I can do all things!
Again - thanks for listening.
Friday, March 02, 2012
...so proclaim the Message with intensity
...so proclaim the Message with intensity; keep on your watch. Challenge, warn, and urge your people. Don't ever quit. Just keep it simple.
You're going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food-catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They'll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages. But you-keep your eye on what you're doing; accept the hard times along with the good;
keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God's servant. (2 Timothy 4:2-5 MSG)
I think I missed this before. Proclaim the Message with intensity. Don't just proclaim it... Be passionate about what you say. Stand behind what you say. The Message doesn't exist for you to practice your public speaking. It is vital for life, so treat it that way! Treat God that way. By this intensity, you keep the Message alive. God has your back so don't do some lazy half arsed job!
What a challenge...
You're going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food-catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They'll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages. But you-keep your eye on what you're doing; accept the hard times along with the good;
keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God's servant. (2 Timothy 4:2-5 MSG)
I think I missed this before. Proclaim the Message with intensity. Don't just proclaim it... Be passionate about what you say. Stand behind what you say. The Message doesn't exist for you to practice your public speaking. It is vital for life, so treat it that way! Treat God that way. By this intensity, you keep the Message alive. God has your back so don't do some lazy half arsed job!
What a challenge...
This SOOO proves that God speaks when you have time for Him...
This is seriously wise stuff! Speaking with God about where I've been the past while, and He is just telling me that everything in life matures and develops your character, even when you don't understand or even don't want it to. There is no shortcut in life, and as long as you are alive and come to a place of prayer and worship before God (it's never too late!) - He shows you just exactly how He has been there all along. Yes, my faith-life's true colours have not looked pretty many times, but in the marathon of life, God brings about awareness that I'm in this place now, speaking with Him which means my faith is here. I love that James writes that, "You'll get (God's) help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought." And then it's up to us to walk in that knowledge that God loves to help! In our weakness, He is strong.
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open. (James 1:2-8 MSG)
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open. (James 1:2-8 MSG)
Timely.
My dear friends, don't let public opinion influence how you live out our glorious, Christ-originated faith. If a man enters your church wearing an expensive suit, and a street person wearing rags comes in right after him, and you say to the man in the suit, "Sit here, sir; this is the best seat in the house!" and either ignore the street person or say, "Better sit here in the back row," haven't you segregated God's children and proved that you are judges who can't be trusted?
Listen, dear friends. Isn't it clear by now that God operates quite differently? He chose the world's down-and-out as the kingdom's first citizens, with full rights and privileges. This kingdom is promised to anyone who loves God. And here you are abusing these same citizens! Isn't it the high and mighty who exploit you, who use the courts to rob you blind? Aren't they the ones who scorn the new name-"Christian"-used in your baptisms?
You do well when you complete the Royal Rule of the Scriptures: "Love others as you love yourself." But if you play up to these so-called important people, you go against the Rule and stand convicted by it. You can't pick and choose in these things, specializing in keeping one or two things in God's law and ignoring others. The same God who said, "Don't commit adultery," also said, "Don't murder." If you don't commit adultery but go ahead and murder, do you think your non-adultery will cancel out your murder? No, you're a murderer, period.
Talk and act like a person expecting to be judged by the Rule that sets us free. For if you refuse to act kindly, you can hardly expect to be treated kindly. Kind mercy wins over harsh judgment every time.
Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup-where does that get you? Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?
I can already hear one of you agreeing by saying, "Sounds good. You take care of the faith department, I'll handle the works department." Not so fast. You can no more show me your works apart from your faith than I can show you my faith apart from my works. Faith and works, works and faith, fit together hand in glove.
Do I hear you professing to believe in the one and only God, but then observe you complacently sitting back as if you had done something wonderful? That's just great. Demons do that, but what good does it do them? Use your heads! Do you suppose for a minute that you can cut faith and works in two and not end up with a corpse on your hands?
Wasn't our ancestor Abraham "made right with God by works" when he placed his son Isaac on the sacrificial altar? Isn't it obvious that faith and works are yoked partners, that faith expresses itself in works? That the works are "works of faith"? The full meaning of "believe" in the Scripture sentence, "Abraham believed God and was set right with God," includes his action. It's that mesh of believing and acting that got Abraham named "God's friend." Is it not evident that a person is made right with God not by a barren faith but by faith fruitful in works?
The same with Rahab, the Jericho harlot. Wasn't her action in hiding God's spies and helping them escape-that seamless unity of believing and doing-what counted with God? The very moment you separate body and spirit, you end up with a corpse. Separate faith and works and you get the same thing: a corpse.
(James 2:1-26 MSG)
Listen, dear friends. Isn't it clear by now that God operates quite differently? He chose the world's down-and-out as the kingdom's first citizens, with full rights and privileges. This kingdom is promised to anyone who loves God. And here you are abusing these same citizens! Isn't it the high and mighty who exploit you, who use the courts to rob you blind? Aren't they the ones who scorn the new name-"Christian"-used in your baptisms?
You do well when you complete the Royal Rule of the Scriptures: "Love others as you love yourself." But if you play up to these so-called important people, you go against the Rule and stand convicted by it. You can't pick and choose in these things, specializing in keeping one or two things in God's law and ignoring others. The same God who said, "Don't commit adultery," also said, "Don't murder." If you don't commit adultery but go ahead and murder, do you think your non-adultery will cancel out your murder? No, you're a murderer, period.
Talk and act like a person expecting to be judged by the Rule that sets us free. For if you refuse to act kindly, you can hardly expect to be treated kindly. Kind mercy wins over harsh judgment every time.
Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup-where does that get you? Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?
I can already hear one of you agreeing by saying, "Sounds good. You take care of the faith department, I'll handle the works department." Not so fast. You can no more show me your works apart from your faith than I can show you my faith apart from my works. Faith and works, works and faith, fit together hand in glove.
Do I hear you professing to believe in the one and only God, but then observe you complacently sitting back as if you had done something wonderful? That's just great. Demons do that, but what good does it do them? Use your heads! Do you suppose for a minute that you can cut faith and works in two and not end up with a corpse on your hands?
Wasn't our ancestor Abraham "made right with God by works" when he placed his son Isaac on the sacrificial altar? Isn't it obvious that faith and works are yoked partners, that faith expresses itself in works? That the works are "works of faith"? The full meaning of "believe" in the Scripture sentence, "Abraham believed God and was set right with God," includes his action. It's that mesh of believing and acting that got Abraham named "God's friend." Is it not evident that a person is made right with God not by a barren faith but by faith fruitful in works?
The same with Rahab, the Jericho harlot. Wasn't her action in hiding God's spies and helping them escape-that seamless unity of believing and doing-what counted with God? The very moment you separate body and spirit, you end up with a corpse. Separate faith and works and you get the same thing: a corpse.
(James 2:1-26 MSG)
Flawed.
Call it making up for 7 years of not writing, but tonight there are so many "light bulb" revelations.
I'm so flawed. 2004 and 2005 I wrote, was a turning point in my walk with JC. As I reflect on the dash between then and now, I think about a poem that was recited at my father in law's funeral. The poem spoke of the time between birth and death and that, the life you live is the legacy you will leave. To be slightly morbid, if I died now, I'm not sure my dash between 04/05 and now would be anything to be proud of. Yes - there have been some amazing defining moments - my wedding and meeting my birth mum being the most notable... But these were events and did not speak of my character or even in many ways, did not speak about my walk with God. My years have been defined by heartache, sickness, financial struggles and doing it tough. Not to belittle the blessings over this time - doing life with my closest friend and soulmate, having great connect group leaders and friends who have stuck by...
I wonder where that warrior disappeared to after excusing herself from the raging battle? I wish i could say it was to retreat to a sanctuary, but I think honestly she ran away. Away from the flawed relationships, away from the reality of God she had discovered. She distanced herself and went to a place where anything challenging was denied access. If access was denied, maybe her heart would survive the ordeal and maybe she wouldnt have to fight...
How wrong she was. The battle raged and though she retreated, it met her with all it's strength. She did not fight the battle, chose not to acknowledge what was going on. She blamed God for her circumstances instead of running to him when it really truly counted. She was flawed.
And yet as I sit here... I know I am redeemed. God designed me, not without my flaws, but embracing my flaws. He never left my side even though I turned away from him. And his words still stand. He is so clear. I haven't thrown away my future in my past and because of God's grace, I fall on my knees with overwhelming gratitude.
Wow. The words I am writing are only hitting me now. Somehow, when I write they become real. Just like the Bible brings to life the reality of what God has done in history and continues to do now.
God and only God matters.
I'm so flawed. 2004 and 2005 I wrote, was a turning point in my walk with JC. As I reflect on the dash between then and now, I think about a poem that was recited at my father in law's funeral. The poem spoke of the time between birth and death and that, the life you live is the legacy you will leave. To be slightly morbid, if I died now, I'm not sure my dash between 04/05 and now would be anything to be proud of. Yes - there have been some amazing defining moments - my wedding and meeting my birth mum being the most notable... But these were events and did not speak of my character or even in many ways, did not speak about my walk with God. My years have been defined by heartache, sickness, financial struggles and doing it tough. Not to belittle the blessings over this time - doing life with my closest friend and soulmate, having great connect group leaders and friends who have stuck by...
I wonder where that warrior disappeared to after excusing herself from the raging battle? I wish i could say it was to retreat to a sanctuary, but I think honestly she ran away. Away from the flawed relationships, away from the reality of God she had discovered. She distanced herself and went to a place where anything challenging was denied access. If access was denied, maybe her heart would survive the ordeal and maybe she wouldnt have to fight...
How wrong she was. The battle raged and though she retreated, it met her with all it's strength. She did not fight the battle, chose not to acknowledge what was going on. She blamed God for her circumstances instead of running to him when it really truly counted. She was flawed.
And yet as I sit here... I know I am redeemed. God designed me, not without my flaws, but embracing my flaws. He never left my side even though I turned away from him. And his words still stand. He is so clear. I haven't thrown away my future in my past and because of God's grace, I fall on my knees with overwhelming gratitude.
Wow. The words I am writing are only hitting me now. Somehow, when I write they become real. Just like the Bible brings to life the reality of what God has done in history and continues to do now.
God and only God matters.
Don't overhaul everything! Keep the gems!
And the late night musings are back.
I get that some things in life need to change as time goes by, but sometimes I find myself in such a rush to overhaul the parts of me I don't like, that I overhaul the parts of me that must remain. Late night musings, blogging, obscure friendships I thought were in the past. I gather hurt and pain and trauma of the mind. I seek to find all of the cons in life and conveniently misplace the pros. I ignore what God says and turn my selective hearing on. I put up a projection of who people think I should be to avoid questions, all the while falling apart a little each day.
Well no more. This season I need to choose to define. I won't let it define me as it has for far too long. To sound like a broken record, I must be the change. No longer playing a victim and no longer misplacing who I was born to be.
This is me. Right now and right here in this open space. Not bound by anything but my own perception of who I am. god defines me.
I get that some things in life need to change as time goes by, but sometimes I find myself in such a rush to overhaul the parts of me I don't like, that I overhaul the parts of me that must remain. Late night musings, blogging, obscure friendships I thought were in the past. I gather hurt and pain and trauma of the mind. I seek to find all of the cons in life and conveniently misplace the pros. I ignore what God says and turn my selective hearing on. I put up a projection of who people think I should be to avoid questions, all the while falling apart a little each day.
Well no more. This season I need to choose to define. I won't let it define me as it has for far too long. To sound like a broken record, I must be the change. No longer playing a victim and no longer misplacing who I was born to be.
This is me. Right now and right here in this open space. Not bound by anything but my own perception of who I am. god defines me.
Thursday, March 01, 2012
Re-Focus on purpose and the reason I exist.
7 years on and a lifetime seems to have blurred by.
In that time, this blog still remained and imagine my surprise when in a time of rediscovering purpose and dreams I stumble here again...
I feel like I need to write once more. All the colours of my world come to life when I write. The clarity is that of pre-defined intentional placement.
I am taken back by the God breathed inspiration on this blog and yearn to find that place again. As I start to think about beginning a family, it's time to investigate my innermost being and do what I need to do to change my world!
Thanks for the reminder...
In that time, this blog still remained and imagine my surprise when in a time of rediscovering purpose and dreams I stumble here again...
I feel like I need to write once more. All the colours of my world come to life when I write. The clarity is that of pre-defined intentional placement.
I am taken back by the God breathed inspiration on this blog and yearn to find that place again. As I start to think about beginning a family, it's time to investigate my innermost being and do what I need to do to change my world!
Thanks for the reminder...
Thursday, December 15, 2005
God's Favour
Dudes, going with the colloquial language tonight.
Today I was talking on the phone about God's favour. About being obedient to God even when others don't approve of what you're doing or don't understand or get misconceptions of you....
I was perceived to be lazy in not finding a job, but God's been teaching me over the last year that there were more important things to focus on and that jobs aren't the be all and end all.. and now exactly when God determined that I should work, I have a job and a great one at that where I'm happy doing what I love. God even catered for what I love in so much detail, because I so love doing a range of different things in a job so it isn't repetitive and too much routine and this job is one where I'm in so many places all the time and flexible and everything! it's just so amazing what happens when you are available to God.
I know that God's favour is on me right now. I know it because even though I've only had my job for about 5 days, my boss is already calling me and offering me longer shifts which is more money. My boss is also swapping shifts around so I can do shifts that I want to do.
And I know that the only reason this is all happening is because I listened to God! I stood up and said here I am Lord, use me. Take my life, I am yours!
I guess what I'm trying to say in this post is basically summed up in this:
when God comes calling for you, don't hide from him. Don't procrastinate, don't make excuses, don't run away... You don't have to be scared, God has your best at heart and loves you dearly, so if He asks you to do something, you can be sure that He'll go before you and also be your rear guard. You can be sure He'll be there on his white horse to pick you up if you fall and he'll have such a huge cheering squad lined up for you, cheering you on as you run the race of life! Trust God and love all over him! He soooo wants that. And be available to him. Be in a position to walk through the doors he opens for you because there's an amazing reward waiting for you and God so longs to see you get that reward. If you would commit to live for God no matter what; dare to put your reputation on the line, He will give you favour because he is your father and loves to boast about his children!
Let me tell you, this favour of God thing is awesome! I so hope it catches on fast!!!
Today I was talking on the phone about God's favour. About being obedient to God even when others don't approve of what you're doing or don't understand or get misconceptions of you....
I was perceived to be lazy in not finding a job, but God's been teaching me over the last year that there were more important things to focus on and that jobs aren't the be all and end all.. and now exactly when God determined that I should work, I have a job and a great one at that where I'm happy doing what I love. God even catered for what I love in so much detail, because I so love doing a range of different things in a job so it isn't repetitive and too much routine and this job is one where I'm in so many places all the time and flexible and everything! it's just so amazing what happens when you are available to God.
I know that God's favour is on me right now. I know it because even though I've only had my job for about 5 days, my boss is already calling me and offering me longer shifts which is more money. My boss is also swapping shifts around so I can do shifts that I want to do.
And I know that the only reason this is all happening is because I listened to God! I stood up and said here I am Lord, use me. Take my life, I am yours!
I guess what I'm trying to say in this post is basically summed up in this:
when God comes calling for you, don't hide from him. Don't procrastinate, don't make excuses, don't run away... You don't have to be scared, God has your best at heart and loves you dearly, so if He asks you to do something, you can be sure that He'll go before you and also be your rear guard. You can be sure He'll be there on his white horse to pick you up if you fall and he'll have such a huge cheering squad lined up for you, cheering you on as you run the race of life! Trust God and love all over him! He soooo wants that. And be available to him. Be in a position to walk through the doors he opens for you because there's an amazing reward waiting for you and God so longs to see you get that reward. If you would commit to live for God no matter what; dare to put your reputation on the line, He will give you favour because he is your father and loves to boast about his children!
Let me tell you, this favour of God thing is awesome! I so hope it catches on fast!!!
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Thinking big means thinking small (at times)
Following on from last night's conversation, I thought I'd write something here for other people to read because I feel its relevant at this point in time.
I often say, don't put God in a box. But that's hard to avoid. we are, after all, human. Imperfections and all. but there are things to remember that let God out of the box and this is one of them.
I keep thinking about the example of trees... when people planted the seeds that would become trees, I imagine they would have envisioned the trees fully grown. Not merely the seeds. you see, the other way they could do it is get a fully grown tree and uproot it from its original foundations and replant it in the desired location, but if that were to happen, there are many other complications involved............ so in this way, thinking big didn't involve doing big things, but simply having a vision of what would become.
am I making sense here?
And so, I was talking on the phone last night about this whole idea of thinking small to think big... and its all about developing an idea fully I guess, sort of like watching a child grow up. they start of small, and blossum (we hope) into someone willing to make a difference in the world.
Don't put God in a box by limiting your thoughts. constantly expand your acceptance of different ideas. I know, easier said than done, but if you aren't afraid of what God has in store for you, it will come naturally. ha!
Well I hope that little bit of stream of consciousness stuff helped and made sense to some extent!
I often say, don't put God in a box. But that's hard to avoid. we are, after all, human. Imperfections and all. but there are things to remember that let God out of the box and this is one of them.
I keep thinking about the example of trees... when people planted the seeds that would become trees, I imagine they would have envisioned the trees fully grown. Not merely the seeds. you see, the other way they could do it is get a fully grown tree and uproot it from its original foundations and replant it in the desired location, but if that were to happen, there are many other complications involved............ so in this way, thinking big didn't involve doing big things, but simply having a vision of what would become.
am I making sense here?
And so, I was talking on the phone last night about this whole idea of thinking small to think big... and its all about developing an idea fully I guess, sort of like watching a child grow up. they start of small, and blossum (we hope) into someone willing to make a difference in the world.
Don't put God in a box by limiting your thoughts. constantly expand your acceptance of different ideas. I know, easier said than done, but if you aren't afraid of what God has in store for you, it will come naturally. ha!
Well I hope that little bit of stream of consciousness stuff helped and made sense to some extent!
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